we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
