this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
nutella sex= disaster
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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