And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
