why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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