I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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