you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
