naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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