I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize