In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
What drink are we having for lunch?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
