Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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