dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
