Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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