absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
