last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
