i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
