So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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