she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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