So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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