ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
