so that wasnt chicken after all
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
