you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
