I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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