We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize