You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
