A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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