careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
