ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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