i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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