dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Mom said you looked used
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
