I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
