So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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