I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize