Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
