im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
