it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Quick, to the slutcave!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize