how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize