Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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