i think i have herpe
just one?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
