I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
