I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize