I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize