After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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