Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
There's always time for handjobs
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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