We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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