i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
