Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize