for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
