Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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