We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
