was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
