Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
