Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
