i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize