How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
