Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
