best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
