just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
