She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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