"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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