I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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