He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
