What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
