First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
