Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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