dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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