Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
