Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
