Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
