i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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