Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I touched a dick in church today
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
