i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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