she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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