she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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