5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
