Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
