Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
