Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
