Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
