Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
