Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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